Well my due date came and went... September 4th, now 5 days ago.
It's easy to get frustrated by my little girl's late arrival but I am trying to remember what a gift it is to be able to carry her to full term (and then some...). 9 months ago I felt absolutely hopeless and had nearly given up on the idea of having a baby. Now here I am with a baby who is content staying in her mama. The Lord has given me a healthy pregnancy and no doubt a healthy baby (who let's hope isn't too big on delivery, yikes!)
The plan now is for me to be induced tomorrow September 10th at Maple Grove Hospital. I will be admitted around 6:00PM and my cervix will be "ripened" overnight and if contractions haven't started I will be given pitocin first thing Thursday morning. I am so not thrilled with a 9/11 due date but you know what? God has a plan in all of this and I am going to just go with it!
Today I am overcome with a plethora of emotions. I haven't stopped crying since I woke up. And I can't put my finger on why. Hormones? Um, yes I am 100% certain that is probably most of it. But it's also the overwhelming feeling of knowing that this is my last night as a family of 4 (me, Jimmy and the doggies of course). Tomorrow my life will change forever. And I am certain it's going to be for the better. But it's also the unknown causing anxiety. The anticipation of this event has been growing and growing and knowing it's here is overwhelming. I think if I were to have gone in labor on my own the adrenaline and excitement might mask these feelings. But being induced just brings a clarity and a "calm before the storm" type feeling. I am trying to focus on anything else to take my mind off of it all. And I am trying to trust God because I know he is going to take care of me and my family and our baby girl.
To my daughter - I love you so much already. I can not WAIT to meet you in just a day or two. You have given me so much happiness already the last 9 months. Feeling you move every day has been such a joy. You have completed so much of who I am already and I promise to cherish you every day for the rest of your life. I thank God for allowing me to be your Mommy.
Until baby arrives! Prayers are appreciated!
Love,
Kristin
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